How can I word this sentence better?
While it seemed like everything was falling apart: thousands of people were dying in the Vietnam War, John and Robert Kennedy as well as Dr. King had been assassinated, civil rights activists were fighting harder than ever, the second wave of the feminist movement had begun, the youth’s desire to rebel “the Establishment”; there was one thing holding it all together, and that was music.
As things fell apart (for the American society…idk): the Vietnam War, the assassination of JFK, RFK and Martin Luther King, the struggle of the Civil Rights movement and the burgeoning rebellion against The Establishment, there was one thing holding it all together, music.
That’s just how I would phrase for now…obviously if I was writing this myself I’d probably tweak it a bit more but its 2 am and I;m tired. Also, I’m not American so I’m not familiar enough with the topic(s) to go further, soorry…but your sentence is way too long. Its a run on. You need to break it or shorten it. You don;t need to mention everything on your list. If this is a comprehensive essay you can elaborate more later…for now just mention what’s of utmost importance (I’m assuming this is your thesis..intro?). I like the dramatic effect but understand that you have almost 3 lines of examples before you get to the point. Not bad just shorten it…good luck!!
